Tofu Burgers

OK - this recipe is not strictly "mine". I did, in fact, copy and paste it from another online recipe site, but in my defense, I did this because it looked really good and I wanted to make sure I had it on hand. I changed one ingredient which was this: They had listed "poultry seasoning" and I substituted a crushed vegetable bouillon cube. WHY would someone list a recipe for something vegetarian and then have you add chicken stock? I hate that. You damned carnivores can't just nick our recipes and add a pinch of death. Go away, sit in the darkest corner of KFC and think about what you've done. You know, this reminds me of the time I wrote an email to Jack in the Box fast food restaurant. I had heard a rumor that the meat they used in their tacos wasn't meat at all but soy. I was very excited about this. So I wrote to ask if this rumor was true. Then I went out and lived my life. A few hours late I came home to a frantic message on my answering machine from a Jack in the Box executive telling me not to eat the tacos. So I called him (because he really sounded upset) and he said that while yes, the "meat" was made from soy, it was flavored with beef broth. I was really crest fallen. I mean they came this close to being the coolest fast food place in the world, and they fell short at the last minute. In retrospect, it was nice of them to call though.

OK. On with the recipe:





Tofu Mushroom Burger
Makes 12 patties or 24 tofu balls

1 block firm tofu
1 med. onion, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
1 large carrot, grated
12 mushrooms, chopped very fine
1 TBsp. olive oil
1-2 tsp. sea salt
3-4 cup quick oatmeal
1 cup water
2 cups seasoned breadcrumbs
1 vegetable bouillon cube, crushed
1-4 tsp. turmeric
1-2 cup sesame seeds (optional)
Vegetable oil for frying

Drain and crumble tofu in a large mixing bowl and set aside. Heat a large skillet and add olive oil. Sauté the onion, celery, carrots, and mushrooms with the sea salt. Add the oats, herbs and spices to the sauté mixture. Continue cooking until the oats are toasted. Then add the water and stir to combine. Remove the skillet from heat and stir in the breadcrumbs. Let the mixture cool, then add it to the crumbled tofu and mix well. With your hands, shape the mixture into patties or balls and then roll them into the sesame seeds to create a crunchy outer crust (this step is optional). Fry the patties or balls until brown on both sides. Eat as is or as part of a sandwich with your favorite fixings. You can use the tofu balls in sauces or stews. Alternatively, you can bake the mixture in a loaf pan and cover it with ketchup to create an authentic meatless loaf.

Tortilla Wraps - Fun, Practical, and Handy!

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Anything is better in a tortilla wrap. Anything. Even a peanut-butter and jam sandwich. Substitute the bread with a tortilla, wrap it up, and you've got yourself a fun roll!

Vegetable tortilla wraps are a good way for you to have lunch and eat a salad without even trying while feeling festive.

Here's what you do:

Put a large tortilla on a plate.

Spread some mayonnaise or mustard on it.

Load it up with slices of:
Onions
Bell Peppers (a.k.a. "Capsicums")
Lettuce
Cucumbers
Alfalfa Sprouts
Carrots
Tomatoes
Avocados
Perhaps add cheese slices.

You can use any or all of these ingredients. Or you can even use other stuff! That's the beauty of tortilla wraps!...Having said that, the raw onion slices really do kick it over the edge, though.

Note: As you're adding the vegetable and cheese slices, leave a few inches width bare. This will be the outside of your tortilla wrap which you will roll towards.

add salt and pepper to taste.

Now roll it all up, as tightly as you can. Then cut it in half. When you're finished it should look like this (sort of):



Now isn't that more fun than just a salad with cheese on it? Am I right or am I right?

Enjoy your lunch, my friend!

Lentil Soup, designed to convert people to vegetarianism. Dedicated to my friend Linda Chandler.

My friend Linda Chandler said she wanted to be converted to vegetarianism, and if you're going to convert someone to vegetarianism, this recipe is one of the ways to do it.

Lentil soup is fabulous. If you've had it, you know what I'm talking about, and if you haven't, well, now's your chance. I don't know what it is about lentil beans but they seem to give you really good energy for the entire day. Also they taste fabulous.

This recipe is adapted (and when I say "adapted", I mean basically plagiarized if not for a few variances in ingredients), from a medieval French recipe. They used to eat quite a lot of vegetarian food in medieval times, actually. And clearly it didn't kill them. Disease, feudal wars, and a lack of sanitation killed them, but not vegetarianism.

OK. Forget that I just said the words "a lack of sanitation", and let's get on with the recipe, shall we?

(Really I shouldn't have mentioned it a second time, because now you're really thinking about it).


Lentil Soup
(Soup de Lentilles)

Dried lentil beans - 1 1/2 cups
Two large onions - chopped into bits
One large carrot - also chopped into bits
One large turnip (or several smaller ones) - chopped into little chunks
3 garlic cloves - chopped into little bits
A small bunch of parsley - chopped
Olive Oil - 5 tablespoons (Or more. Don't be shy - this stuff is good for you.)
2 tomatoes - chopped up
One small chili pepper - chopped to bitty bits
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1 cup red wine (optional - but it is really good. If you don't want to add it to the soup, you might want to just drink it while you're cooking)

OK. First, soak the dried lentils in a pot of water for about 2-4 hours. Make sure the water level is much higher than the beans, because they will expand. (That's the whole point). After the soaking period, drain the water from the pot, add a good amount of fresh water, and begin the whole cooking process. Don't ask me how much water. Um, I don't know. About halfway up. I'm sure you can figure it out.

Now add all the other stuff. Wasn't that easy?

Bring it to a boil then turn down the heat, cover it and let it simmer for 2 hours. keep adding a bit of water whenever you need to just to make sure the water level is slightly above the beans. Also stir it occasionally. It couldn't hurt.

Isn't it delicious? See? This is why Medieval people were so happy!!



...When they weren't dying from some horrible bacterial disease due to a lack of sanitation, of course.