My sister-in-law Boukje reads my recipe blog apparently, but has complained that my recipes have "too many ingredients". I suppose this is true, and really, what kind of vegetarian blogger would I be if I didn't also cater to the vegetarian on the go who doesn't have time for such frivolity. With that in mind, I present my recipe for a peanut butter sandwich.
The Peanut Butter Sandwich
Ingredients:
Peanut butter
Bread
Butter (optional)
Cooking instructions:
Gather all your ingredients in front of you, with a standard sized plate and a dull knife. (editor's note! If the butter option is being used, you might want to use two knives so as not to sully any of your ingredients!).
Open the jar of peanut butter by steadying the jar with one hand whilst revolving the lid in an anti-clockwise direction with the other hand. When the lid has clearly disconnected from the jar, cease revolving motion and gently lift lid away from jar and set down on a (preferably) flat surface. Now take bread in hands. Hopefully bread has been pre-sliced. If not, it would be advisable to discontinue operation and acquire pre-sliced bread. If this is not an option, carefully slice two equal (1 - 1 1/2 centimeter in width) slices off the loaf of bread. (*warning*: make sure you are slicing across the shortest width of the bread. Slicing across the longest width of the bread can result in a sandwich that is completely the wrong size!)...Take the two slices of either pre-sliced or carefully self-sliced bread, and set them on the plate, broad side down.
For butter option (If preparing non-buttered option, please skip this step and proceed to the next paragraph entitled, "Applying the peanut butter"): Unwrap butter, or remove lid from butter spread, whichever is applicable. Grasp dull knife by the handle (important!), and insert the blade into the butter. Remove the blade employing a semi-circular movement with the wrist so that a measure of butter is removed and sticks to the knife. If first attempt is unsuccessful, try again using a slightly larger arc until butter removal is achieved. Once butter is on the knife, bring it to the bread, lower it, and distribute the butter onto the broad side of the bread using the knife in sweeping motions to coax the butter to the edges of the bread. Keep doing this until the butter is evenly distributed on the bread. If more distribution is needed, repeat butter removal step to bring more butter to the bread.
Applying the Peanut Butter: Grasp a dull knife by the handle, and gently insert the blade into the peanut butter on the inside of the peanut butter jar. Employing a circular motion, use the knife to coax a chunk of peanut butter out of the jar. Bring the knife, with the peanut butter on it, to the non-buttered slice of bread and lower the peanut butter onto the bread. Using a sweeping motion, distribute the peanut butter over the bread, extending out towards the edges. If distribution does not seem complete, repeat the instructions at the beginning of this paragraph to acquire more peanut butter.
When you are happy with amount/distribution of peanut butter (and butter, if you are using this option), prepare to close your sandwich. To do this, gently lift one of the bread slices and revolve it so the butter/peanut butter is facing downwards, towards the other piece of bread. Now move the bread so that it is positioned above the other slice of bread (which should still be lying stationary on the plate). Line up the two pieces of bread as best as you can by visually judging where the corners are. Your aim here is to bring the two pieces of bread together in an exact square with all the sides of the square of one slice lining up with all the sides of the square of the other slice. When you are certain that this has been achieved, carefully lower the piece of bread in your hands until it is on top of and touching the stationary piece of bread. When this has been achieved, you can remove your hands.
Congratulations! Your sandwich is now ready to eat! Simply slip your thumbs under the sandwich, at the same time closing your other fingers over the top, with enough pressure to secure your sandwich. Be careful not to apply too much pressure or sandwich can fracture. Bring sandwich towards your face and apply eating motion.
Enjoy!
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