Tofu Burgers

OK - this recipe is not strictly "mine". I did, in fact, copy and paste it from another online recipe site, but in my defense, I did this because it looked really good and I wanted to make sure I had it on hand. I changed one ingredient which was this: They had listed "poultry seasoning" and I substituted a crushed vegetable bouillon cube. WHY would someone list a recipe for something vegetarian and then have you add chicken stock? I hate that. You damned carnivores can't just nick our recipes and add a pinch of death. Go away, sit in the darkest corner of KFC and think about what you've done. You know, this reminds me of the time I wrote an email to Jack in the Box fast food restaurant. I had heard a rumor that the meat they used in their tacos wasn't meat at all but soy. I was very excited about this. So I wrote to ask if this rumor was true. Then I went out and lived my life. A few hours late I came home to a frantic message on my answering machine from a Jack in the Box executive telling me not to eat the tacos. So I called him (because he really sounded upset) and he said that while yes, the "meat" was made from soy, it was flavored with beef broth. I was really crest fallen. I mean they came this close to being the coolest fast food place in the world, and they fell short at the last minute. In retrospect, it was nice of them to call though.

OK. On with the recipe:





Tofu Mushroom Burger
Makes 12 patties or 24 tofu balls

1 block firm tofu
1 med. onion, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
1 large carrot, grated
12 mushrooms, chopped very fine
1 TBsp. olive oil
1-2 tsp. sea salt
3-4 cup quick oatmeal
1 cup water
2 cups seasoned breadcrumbs
1 vegetable bouillon cube, crushed
1-4 tsp. turmeric
1-2 cup sesame seeds (optional)
Vegetable oil for frying

Drain and crumble tofu in a large mixing bowl and set aside. Heat a large skillet and add olive oil. Sauté the onion, celery, carrots, and mushrooms with the sea salt. Add the oats, herbs and spices to the sauté mixture. Continue cooking until the oats are toasted. Then add the water and stir to combine. Remove the skillet from heat and stir in the breadcrumbs. Let the mixture cool, then add it to the crumbled tofu and mix well. With your hands, shape the mixture into patties or balls and then roll them into the sesame seeds to create a crunchy outer crust (this step is optional). Fry the patties or balls until brown on both sides. Eat as is or as part of a sandwich with your favorite fixings. You can use the tofu balls in sauces or stews. Alternatively, you can bake the mixture in a loaf pan and cover it with ketchup to create an authentic meatless loaf.